Have I locked the door?  The door is locked.  Pull the handle, once, twice.  Doesn’t budge.  Now push it in so the latch clicks.  Click.  Thank god, I’m home.  There’s a roast chicken sitting on the counter.  Who doesn’t refrigerate a chicken?  Has that just been taken out or has it been sitting there for hours like the dishes sitting in the sink?  The floor is sticky.  The stovetop is crusty.  I cleaned last week.  No one thanked me.  Did I lock the door?  Look back.  It’s locked.  I’m exhausted.  I need to rest, but that will take up an hour of my evening.  My nightly ritual takes an hour and a half.  Studying takes up three.  If I do all of it, I’ll be getting in the shower at 10 and sliding into bed at 11:30.  I can’t rest, but I’ll lay in bed while I study.  When did I last wash these sheets?  I wash them weekly, but they feel dirty.  I feel dirty.  I feel guilty.  I feel like I’m not doing enough.  I’m not smart enough.  I’m not strong enough.  I’m not enough.
1, 2, 3.


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